Crime Scene tape at the front door of a luxury home
Patriarchy is one of the reasons most homes in southern and Eastern states in Nigeria suffer divorce and physical abuse, and because most men aren’t well educated that men are the determinants of the gender of a child, they end up putting the blame on their wives..
Mr Anorue’s story is caused by patriarchy and ignorance both in play.
The wife of Mr Anorue, a 49-year old man was delivered of a new born baby girl. The issue of gender play a huge role in most families in southern Nigeria. The case of Mr Anorue is not an exemption. He became furious when he found out that the most anticipated birth of his 5th child was female and not the male child he had prepared for. He got angry and smashed the new born on the floor because she wasn’t male. The baby who couldn’t withstand the hit died instantly.
Mr Anorue has been arrested by the Police Command and is now facing charge for murder which may attract life imprisonment if he is tried and found guilty before the Court. Police source said that the dastardly act was exposed after his wife raised alarm when the child stopped breathing immediately the father hit her on the floor. It was gathered that the suspect, Anorue, was angry that his wife had lied to him that the new baby will be a male child, which was what he had longed for in the family.
The wife, who spoke in tears, disclosed that she had to lie to her husband that she will be delivered of a male child because she was threatened so badly after her 3rd and 4th were female children. But Mr Amorue said he was sad and pained after she collected money for scan and lied to him that it was a male child. According to him “We already had four girls and I was so happy when she told me we will have a male child but it turned to be female.”
Although her husband’s action can’t be justified, do you think the wife went too far by not telling her husband the truth from the onset? How well can Patriarchy be tackled seeing the way it is causing problems in most families?.
Like!! I blog quite often and I genuinely thank you for your information. The article has truly peaked my interest.
A touching story indeed. Ignorance really played a role in this story. We are in the 21st century and a child’s gender does not count again.. I feel like the man lacks common sense and wisdom. Why is he angry with the wife and why will he kill his own child? Pathetic! Does he not know that he is the one that determines the sex of the child?. Women are known as incubators for childbirth and contribute little percent to the sex of a child.
Men determine the sex of a baby depending on whether their sperm is carrying an X or Y chromosome. An X chromosome combines with the mother’s X chromosome to make a baby girl (XX) and a Y chromosome will combine with the mother’s to make a boy (XY). Is what you give to a woman that she produces. Either boy or girl, they are both blessings.
The lady in this story, I get her fear but she should have said the truth regardless. I’m not blaming her though but “Marriage is a very deep thing and we ought to be careful who will say I do to”.
The issue of Patriarchy, yes I know it still happens in eastern and southern states mostly but the world is changing.
I grew up in a family of 5 ladies and up until now my dad stands his ground. He makes sure each of us are beneficiaries to his will and he is still with my mum
Point is, marry like minds.
Enlightenment should be given to those still in darkness about this gender stuff because makes no sense at all.
The man in particular should face penalty of his sin because he has no right according to “The Nigerian Constitution, the Holy Bible and even Quaran” to take a person’s life.. killing the baby is the beginning of his doom.
And this call is to all, either male or female “Anger Management ” should be taken seriously. Even the Bible advises on self control. Lots of things happening in marriages now are as a result of anger . Let’s learn to work on it .
In Summary; the sex of a child in marriage should not be a hindrance to one’s happiness. All are gift from God. If you think your wife can’t give you a male child ( so they put it oooh 🤣) do adoption . Lineage continues… 😁
Let’s think before we act.
Thanks
Yes, let’s think before we act.
Thanks for enlightening us. I hope men in our society will break away from the ignorance they’ve held on to for years.
Men are the ones that determine the sex of a child and not the other way around.
Well .. I will say that enlightenment is very important in d sex of a child, the man is the sole determinant of the sex of a child, and so no man should blame the wife. I will use myself as an example. My dad married my mum. Which happens to be I am the only child of my mum, as a southerner. My dad wanted more kids .. he married a second wife .. my step mum gave birth to 5 kids .. 4 girls and a boy. My dad had this belief that the boy child is more important. But today the reverse is the case. Back to the subject matter. Lying is bad, the wife lied believing it would calm d man. But his actions was overboard. In all when two people plan to get married as they are being counselled in church, they should seek for medical counsel and guidance on the state of their health and child preference.
I agree with you 100%. Since people go to church for marriage counseling, they should seek medical guidance on their health’s state and child preference, although there’s no guarantee about the gender of a child before conception takes place, but they should be counseled so as not to have high hopes.. It should be 50/50 and agreed.. In this way nobody will feel bad about a child’s gender. We have a long way to go about this subject matter but I am glad we’ll create an awareness concerning it. It will help the society to be well informed and educated.
The wife shouldn’t have lied about it but it also cannot justify what Mr Anorue did. These uneducated men should be enlightened about the fact that they are the determinants of the sex of a child and not the women, furthermore religious bodies should also tell them, I’m sure they’ll listen to their Pastors or Imams.
You’re sure they’ll listen? Maybe their churches and mosques can organize a programme where they get to Educate them concerning this issue.
Nice! A great way to spread the awareness/word…
The negative effect of the evident patriarchy system in Africa especially in the south eastern region of Nigeria can not be overly emphasized, people need to be educated, we need to start understanding the uniqueness of every child irrespective of their sex, female children are not given so much opportunities and support that the male children are given which is not supposed to be so, every child should be given the platform to actualize their goals and explore their capabilities. Also I think they really need to understand that it’s not in the woman’s place to determine the sex of the babies. This story is a very sad one and the father has to be a monster to kill a fragile baby and I wouldn’t justify the woman’s action by telling lies about the sex of the baby but I felt if he had known things wouldn’t have happened so differently because he already has that static mindset… the faster people begin to accept female children the better for the society,
Yes, as you rightly said, “We need to understand the uniqueness of every child irrespective of their sex”
I understand the plight of most women from south eastern part of Nigeria, a lot of untold stories how their childhood/education were neglected simply because they were the opposite gender their families were expecting. It’s really sad because nobody to enlighten us and our inability to understand that every gender has special and specific features they play in their families and society at large.
Thanks for enlightening us concerning this subject matter.
Even if God should give me more female child than male I will be the most happiest woman on earth. Because I get to know now female children are the ones taking care of the family now, some of the male children are not doing anything. Females get to understand the need of the family especially the woman that gave birth to them, but once a male child has his own family he forgets about his family. So I pray God should give me more female children than male.
Okay, I can’t say otherwise as this is your own opinion, but don’t you think the relevance placed on a particular gender is the reason behind “Gender conflict” in our society today?. In as much as we know that the man takes care of his own family, there’s a possibility that the male child will still take care of his parents and siblings after having his family. That being said, we need to create an awareness that no gender is better off than the other and also pray we give birth to children that’ll be important in the society, in that way they’ll not neglect the responsibility(ies) of taking care of their parents or siblings whether male or female.
The man did very bad by killing the child. God is the giver of children, that’s one thing he should know. The wife only lied to him because she thought that was the only option. Maybe if she had told him the truth that she was carrying a female child he would have asked her to abort the innocent child, so she had to lie to him because she was left with no option. The man should face the wrath of what he did, he shouldn’t go unpunished.
Yes, everyone should take responsibility for his/her action, nobody should be spared.
That’s the thing with letting your emotions get the best of you; whatever it brings at the end is solely your fault and your responsibility as well.
Thanks for your insightful comment.
Well! What the man did can’t be justified. Yes, she lied. Yes, he felt betrayed but that doesn’t disqualify the fact that he is a monster, all she wanted was to see him happy. Her intentions were clear and if every other person was in her shoes, her exact shoes, they’ll understand.
This is the 21st century, he should have known better than to throw the child, no matter the weight of his anger!!
Yes. I agree with you.
Firstly, sometimes we let our emotions get the best of us and then regret afterwards. To be honest, our emotions aren’t physical so we should never give in whether the situation is bearable or not.
Secondly, it’s best we say the truth so as to avoid scenarios that may be harmful to us or our loved ones. Like the case of Mr Anorue, the wife is devastated that she’s lost a child, and the husband is most likely to spend life in prison if tried and found guilty.. It’s a big loss to the family.
There are lessons we can learn from their story: Be truthful at all times regardless of whatever situation it is and also, never let your emotion control you because you’re better and stronger than it.
Your blog is interesting and educative….
I love it..
What a touching story..
This is one of the serious issues that need to be tackled in Nigeria, most especially in the south-south and south-east..
People tend to forget that children are blessing from God whether male or female…
I experienced it too..
when my dad was alive, his people pressured him to marry another wife, this is because, I was an only child and also a girl, they were like “who will take over from my dad when he dies” but because of the love of Christ in my dad, he did not give in to their demands till he died and here I am today making him proud..
The woman shouldn’t have lied to her husband but then she wanted to make him happy. She would have just told him the truth.
The husband went too far, haba to the extent of throwing the child on the floor. He should be punished for that..
A child is a child, the gender should not matter…
Yes, like you said “A child is a child, the gender should not matter” Very true. There’s no guarantee that a boy child will do greater than the girl child in the future; it’s heartbreaking how we forget that, reason there’s “Gender conflict” in the society today because much emphasis is placed on a particular gender and not the both.
About your own story, it is only a man with strong conviction and love for his wife that’d not give in to pressures from family to take in another wife simply because the first one can’t give him a boy child.
People need to be taught that men are the ones responsible for the gender of a child, not women.
Yeah a girl child is important in any society…
I pray our Nigerian man understands that, they are the ones responsible for the gender of a child…
All children are from God be it male or female….
The girl child you despise today, might be the one that will save you tomorrow….
Yeah a girl child is important in any society…
I pray our Nigerian man understands that, they are the ones responsible for the gender of a child…
All children are from God be it male or female….
The girl child you despise today, might be the one that will save you tomorrow….
Spot on. Hopefully, we can create an awareness for this particular issue. People need to be educated concerning this matter.
Yeah like u said people need to be educated….
I believe soon people will get to see the significance of a female child….
Hopefully… Help create the awareness.